My lipstick was on three parts of the rim of my coffee cup. Bright red, I didn’t usually wear this much makeup. Makeup makes me look happy. My coffee was almost drained in those three gulps, I needed to wake up. I could see the shitty paper rim was going soggy, serves me right for going to such a shitty cafe. I had already bought two cups from my usual cafe, they know me there, I couldn’t buy another, they would know something was wrong. I grimaced as I drank the last sip, leaving another red print on the damp cup. It was cold, how long had I been sitting there? Too long. But as I went to stand, I saw you, and I didn’t need my heavy makeup any longer.
I found her sitting halfway down the stairs. She told me she just couldn’t walk anymore. She was silently crying and her face hardly shifted from the blank stare that had replaced that happy face I fell in love with. I sat with her. We didn’t touch.
“I miss you.” She said. She was speaking to the old me. Once kind and shy, I knew I had changed. I turned into a monster. I was more sorry than words could express. I didn’t try to tell her. I wish I had.
She fell with a thud and I found a newly opened container, empty of it’s medication.